By Nicole / Slutgarden
Chances are if you have ever been to school, you’ve had at least one of these teachers. In college, you’ve probably (or will probably) have all of them, at one point or another. You can learn from them, but that’s easier said than done.
1. The Reader
You know this one right off the bat. Maybe they’ve been teaching a long time, or maybe they’re nervous. These teachers don’t teach; they read. They read you the syllabus, textbook, PowerPoint, whatever. They’ll spend the entire semester going over things you could read yourself, and the entire time you’ll be thinking, “don’t fall asleep, don’t fall asleep, don’t fall-…zzZZzzzZz.”
2. The Talker
The Reader’s twice-removed cousin is The Talker. They talk non-stop, fast fast fast, and maybe they stutter. Sometimes, they borrow a page from The Reader, and read things…really fast. Throw in an accent you might not understand, and you’ve got a date with disaster. I find it helps to talk like them in your mind frequently. You can understand them a bit better, but you might accidentally slip and your friends will wonder why you’re talking like Mrs. Babineaux!
3. The Crazy
Ah, yes. The Crazy. How do I begin to describe The Crazy? Do you remember that one hyena from The Lion King? Like that, mixed with Jack Black. Anything mixed with Jack Black is already screwed, just for the record. This teacher is just pure batshit insanity. There is no rhyme, no reason. There is only madness.
4. The Asshole
He’s usually a small, rotund sort of man. Mid-40s. Wears a suit. 90’s mustache throwback. No ifs, ands, or buts. Follow this exactly. No changes. No, you can’t do another topic. No, you can’t sit here instead of there. No, you can’t talk to me after class (you can only come to my posted office hours, even though I have no place to go and will be cleaning up for a few minutes, which is all you need! hahaha! Screw you!).
5. The Hip Guy
Finally, we come to the last Annoying Teacher, and the source for this article. The Hip Guy. He tries to be your bud, your buddy, your “bud-dy!” He speaks quite loudly. He makes jokes that aren’t funny. He wears jeans and a waistcoat — what a modern combo! It screams, “I am a professional, but also casual and hip! So hip!” He knows what memes are. He knows anime. He even has a Twitter! “@hip_teacher_4eva” where he posts cat pictures all day, every day. The Hip Guy will be challenging, quick-witted, and might grind your gears. He’s 20% The Asshole, 30% The Crazy, and 60% The Talker: 110% PURE HIP.
While these teachers all have their own problems, and could learn from one another, they’re not all bad. They’re doing their best (maybe; I don’t know. Try to be optimistic, dickhead!). The most important thing to remember is: they’re people, just like you. Give ‘em a break.
Don’t break them in half. This has been a PSA. Try to find something you like about them. Don’t give up. These teachers will challenge you to think outside the box, whether that’s their teaching style or you have to think outside the box because of how in the box they are!